Then the helium cylinder did get knocked over, and the balloon was released.

This was on the second floor of my house! If I'd left my bedroom window open, I might have easily plunged to my death.
But I wasn't "plunging" anywhere so long as your fine product was anchored around my ankle.

Somehow I jettisoned the cylinder, sustaining a minimal amount of damage from oncoming traffic.

At once I found myself in the awkward position of having to avoid harm - even defend myself!

What's that about??