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Self Contained
Making friends, working hard, and actively pursuing personal goals.
Mon Apr 8 2002 3:28pm
The Christmas Time Suicide Balloon
CONSUMER ALERT: Are our Christmas Time Suicide Balloons safe?
Fri Dec 14 2001 2:24pm
Nobody Came To My Winter Solstice Party
I'm not accusing anyone, just asking why and what gives.
Mon Nov 5 2001 9:49pm
Rhapsody In Yellow
Weather supercenter forecast: clear skies with light patches of severe thunderstorms.
Tue Oct 30 2001 10:00am
The Chinese Sticks
For my first trick, I must ask for nothing less than complete silence.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:39am
There's A Girl I Like
Prayer thoughts for high school boys of dating age.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:34am
Manage Your Web Dollars!
Understanding Cyberspace presents a rotating panel of tech leaders and industry professionals.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
Banana Peel Snarls Southbound Lanes
The first victim was a 21 year old perfume and fragrance retailer.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
You Sure Are Stupid
A collection of found photographs with accompanying poignant sentiment.
Mon Oct 22 2001 12:26am
Crashing and Burning
Yes! We have recommendations for you in tech support jokes, abortion gags, and toilet humor.
Sun Oct 21 2001 1:37am
The Javascript Doctor
I'm back, refreshed - and ready to tackle your questions! Won't you open your hearts and let me in?
Thu Oct 18 2001 11:22pm
Let me distill my thesis to its essence. I spent upwards of $50.00 on a Suicide Balloon so I could COMMIT SUICIDE.

The only prospect worse than living out the rest of my life is a sequence of botched attempts to bring about its conclusion in a public forum.
Have I engaged enough poignant nouns and colorful adjectives to attract the attention of your department for even a moment?

I'm sure you'll accept this complaint in the helpful tone in which it was intended.
Why not just offer a small handgun with an elongated barrel bent into a U shape and corresponding mouthpiece? I believe I fashioned one from clay in the third grade, but it cracked in the kiln.
Why enormous, child-sized ovens end up on display at just about every elementary school, I'll never know - but that's neither here nor there.
Had I any peace of mind along this journey, I might have untangled myself and fallen onto something sharp, like the cross on a church steeple.

And yes, I could have bit clean through the string I suppose, but I'm not inclined to pursue expensive, long-term health care solutions involving paralysis and lectures from paramedics. That's a little too Christmasy for my tastes, thank you.
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