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Self Contained
Making friends, working hard, and actively pursuing personal goals.
Mon Apr 8 2002 3:28pm
 
The Christmas Time Suicide Balloon
CONSUMER ALERT: Are our Christmas Time Suicide Balloons safe?
Fri Dec 14 2001 2:24pm
Nobody Came To My Winter Solstice Party
I'm not accusing anyone, just asking why and what gives.
Mon Nov 5 2001 9:49pm
Rhapsody In Yellow
Weather supercenter forecast: clear skies with light patches of severe thunderstorms.
Tue Oct 30 2001 10:00am
The Chinese Sticks
For my first trick, I must ask for nothing less than complete silence.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:39am
There's A Girl I Like
Prayer thoughts for high school boys of dating age.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:34am
 
Manage Your Web Dollars!
Understanding Cyberspace presents a rotating panel of tech leaders and industry professionals.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
Banana Peel Snarls Southbound Lanes
The first victim was a 21 year old perfume and fragrance retailer.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
You Sure Are Stupid
A collection of found photographs with accompanying poignant sentiment.
Mon Oct 22 2001 12:26am
Crashing and Burning
Yes! We have recommendations for you in tech support jokes, abortion gags, and toilet humor.
Sun Oct 21 2001 1:37am
The Javascript Doctor
I'm back, refreshed - and ready to tackle your questions! Won't you open your hearts and let me in?
Thu Oct 18 2001 11:22pm
 
 
WARNING: BONERS LOOSE IN THE FINANCIAL DISTRICT
HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS /
HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS /
RIGHT DOWN SANTA CLAUS LANE

Jingle jingle! Here I come boys and girls! My Suicide Balloon's filled with TOYS and GOODIES for everyone who's been good this year. I'll just let go and drop down your chimney.
Was that horrible THUD the sound of Rudolph or the baby Jesus? Let's bring our ceramic mugs of Safeway Select cinnamon egg nog out to the front porch and sneak a peek!!!!
Around one o'clock, the skies cooled down. The balloon got smaller and I began to sink. My theory of floating around forever was abandoned.

I was fortunate enough to return to Earth nice and easy, in the used condom section of a broken bottle strewn, needle filled, criminals-all-around hamlet of downtown.
What passed was a moment of somber reflection. On the plus side, none of this had been a dream. I was very much alive and healthy enough to attempt suicide again later at my discretion.
Sadly, I was still myself. I stood there for a moment wondering if any sort of good humor could be extracted from today's lesson. A few jokey-jokes came to mind, nothing remarkable. Mostly I was the joke, since I had to walk all the way home.
Three or four city blocks to the nearest bus stop. Then the 22 to the 24, the 24 to the 14, and the 14 to the 51J. It occurred to me that what I need most is a car. An oversized family sedan, filling up with water at the bottom of a lake nobody knows about.
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MY PAC MAN FEVER IS NOW OFFICIALLY FULL BLOWN PAC MAN AIDS
© 2002  Leisure Town For Mature Readers