HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS /
HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS /
RIGHT DOWN SANTA CLAUS LANE

Jingle jingle! Here I come boys and girls! My Suicide Balloon's filled with TOYS and GOODIES for everyone who's been good this year. I'll just let go and drop down your chimney.
Was that horrible THUD the sound of Rudolph or the baby Jesus? Let's bring our ceramic mugs of Safeway Select cinnamon egg nog out to the front porch and sneak a peek!!!!
Around one o'clock, the skies cooled down. The balloon got smaller and I began to sink. My theory of floating around forever was abandoned.

I was fortunate enough to return to Earth nice and easy, in the used condom section of a broken bottle strewn, needle filled, criminals-all-around hamlet of downtown.
What passed was a moment of somber reflection. On the plus side, none of this had been a dream. I was very much alive and healthy enough to attempt suicide again later at my discretion.
Sadly, I was still myself. I stood there for a moment wondering if any sort of good humor could be extracted from today's lesson. A few jokey-jokes came to mind, nothing remarkable. Mostly I was the joke, since I had to walk all the way home.
Three or four city blocks to the nearest bus stop. Then the 22 to the 24, the 24 to the 14, and the 14 to the 51J. It occurred to me that what I need most is a car. An oversized family sedan, filling up with water at the bottom of a lake nobody knows about.