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Self Contained
Making friends, working hard, and actively pursuing personal goals.
Mon Apr 8 2002 3:28pm
 
The Christmas Time Suicide Balloon
CONSUMER ALERT: Are our Christmas Time Suicide Balloons safe?
Fri Dec 14 2001 2:24pm
Nobody Came To My Winter Solstice Party
I'm not accusing anyone, just asking why and what gives.
Mon Nov 5 2001 9:49pm
Rhapsody In Yellow
Weather supercenter forecast: clear skies with light patches of severe thunderstorms.
Tue Oct 30 2001 10:00am
The Chinese Sticks
For my first trick, I must ask for nothing less than complete silence.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:39am
There's A Girl I Like
Prayer thoughts for high school boys of dating age.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:34am
 
Manage Your Web Dollars!
Understanding Cyberspace presents a rotating panel of tech leaders and industry professionals.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
Banana Peel Snarls Southbound Lanes
The first victim was a 21 year old perfume and fragrance retailer.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
You Sure Are Stupid
A collection of found photographs with accompanying poignant sentiment.
Mon Oct 22 2001 12:26am
Crashing and Burning
Yes! We have recommendations for you in tech support jokes, abortion gags, and toilet humor.
Sun Oct 21 2001 1:37am
The Javascript Doctor
I'm back, refreshed - and ready to tackle your questions! Won't you open your hearts and let me in?
Thu Oct 18 2001 11:22pm
 
 
WARNING: BONERS LOOSE IN THE FINANCIAL DISTRICT
I know, I know: nobody at the opposite end of this correspondence will ever have much cause to celebrate my scatterbrained complainery.

This letter will be secured to an office fridge with a fruity watermelon magnet, produce maybe a single chuckle, and that will be that.
And beside it, a stained missive about how Bill Gates and the Borg both Ate My Balls, and how Bert is Evil, and a printout of those high-LaRioUs dancing hamsters. CLICK HERE FOR MORE SICK AND TWISTED SITES!! OH GOD I'M AN IDIOT RUNNING AROUND WITH A SHOTGUN!! **WHOOPS** I TRIPPED AND **BONK** MY HEAD AND **BLAM** I'M DEAD.

GOD, YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK.

I'm not suggesting I'm somehow entitled to a refund. Nor am I about to repackage all that stupid shit up and mail your idiotic balloon back at my own expense. I don't have stamps or envelopes laying around my house.

And I don't have tables, and I don't have chairs. Everything that smashed out my window got ripped off. I came home to a self-serve sidewalk sale in the middle of the street, and it all went.
This means if mom and dad couldn't bother to go shopping somewhere crowded this year, your presents might be on the lame side.
But guess what, I'm too jetlagged from my big long journey to be concerned with the direction of my life just at the moment.

I should have ditched eighty to ninety percent of all my worldly belongings a long time ago.
Go ahead, take it on home. You're saving me the rental costs of a U-Haul and a trip to the underside of a freeway overpass.

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MY PAC MAN FEVER IS NOW OFFICIALLY FULL BLOWN PAC MAN AIDS
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