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Self Contained
Making friends, working hard, and actively pursuing personal goals.
Mon Apr 8 2002 3:28pm
 
The Christmas Time Suicide Balloon
CONSUMER ALERT: Are our Christmas Time Suicide Balloons safe?
Fri Dec 14 2001 2:24pm
Nobody Came To My Winter Solstice Party
I'm not accusing anyone, just asking why and what gives.
Mon Nov 5 2001 9:49pm
Rhapsody In Yellow
Weather supercenter forecast: clear skies with light patches of severe thunderstorms.
Tue Oct 30 2001 10:00am
The Chinese Sticks
For my first trick, I must ask for nothing less than complete silence.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:39am
There's A Girl I Like
Prayer thoughts for high school boys of dating age.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:34am
 
Manage Your Web Dollars!
Understanding Cyberspace presents a rotating panel of tech leaders and industry professionals.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
Banana Peel Snarls Southbound Lanes
The first victim was a 21 year old perfume and fragrance retailer.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
You Sure Are Stupid
A collection of found photographs with accompanying poignant sentiment.
Mon Oct 22 2001 12:26am
Crashing and Burning
Yes! We have recommendations for you in tech support jokes, abortion gags, and toilet humor.
Sun Oct 21 2001 1:37am
The Javascript Doctor
I'm back, refreshed - and ready to tackle your questions! Won't you open your hearts and let me in?
Thu Oct 18 2001 11:22pm
 
 
WARNING: BONERS LOOSE IN THE FINANCIAL DISTRICT
One dollar? 

Comin' right up. In the form of my super-duper trusty-rusty handy-dandy ATM CARD.

Everyone was all: DUDE - that guy's RAD! Stand back, he's whippin' out the plastic.
But it wasn't in the pocket I thought it was in. I felt three, four times just to make sure. Nor wasn't it not in the pocket I didn't think it was in. It wasn't in either pocket.
No, that's impossible. I quite clearly remember picking it up off the floor. I may be stupid, but I'm not an idiot. Possibly I mis-felt? Did I put it somewhere unusual? My sock? My shirt pocket? It must be somewhere on my person!
All right, what the FUCK???  Did I have it at all when I left the house?  Was I holding it in my hand and I just absent-mindedly dropped it?  How should I know?  Why don't I take better care of my things?   OF ALL THE PRECIOUS THINGS YOU OWN, YOUR ATM CARD IS THE MOST IMPORTANT.  AND NOW IT'S GONE - YOUR ATM CARD IS GONE.
IT'S GONE, AND EVERYONE IS STARING AT ME.
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