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Self Contained
Making friends, working hard, and actively pursuing personal goals.
Mon Apr 8 2002 3:28pm
 
The Christmas Time Suicide Balloon
CONSUMER ALERT: Are our Christmas Time Suicide Balloons safe?
Fri Dec 14 2001 2:24pm
Nobody Came To My Winter Solstice Party
I'm not accusing anyone, just asking why and what gives.
Mon Nov 5 2001 9:49pm
Rhapsody In Yellow
Weather supercenter forecast: clear skies with light patches of severe thunderstorms.
Tue Oct 30 2001 10:00am
The Chinese Sticks
For my first trick, I must ask for nothing less than complete silence.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:39am
There's A Girl I Like
Prayer thoughts for high school boys of dating age.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:34am
 
Manage Your Web Dollars!
Understanding Cyberspace presents a rotating panel of tech leaders and industry professionals.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
Banana Peel Snarls Southbound Lanes
The first victim was a 21 year old perfume and fragrance retailer.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
You Sure Are Stupid
A collection of found photographs with accompanying poignant sentiment.
Mon Oct 22 2001 12:26am
Crashing and Burning
Yes! We have recommendations for you in tech support jokes, abortion gags, and toilet humor.
Sun Oct 21 2001 1:37am
The Javascript Doctor
I'm back, refreshed - and ready to tackle your questions! Won't you open your hearts and let me in?
Thu Oct 18 2001 11:22pm
 
 
WARNING: BONERS LOOSE IN THE FINANCIAL DISTRICT
YES, I’M CROSSING THE STREET YOU IDIOT.
For GOD SAKES, I'm trying to catch my breath.

DO YOU WANT TO BE SUED AND GO TO JAIL?
My mind raced!

I mentally visualized myself going backwards in time - through my mind's eye - backwards, backwards - across everything I'd done that entire week.

So many ways my ATM card could have slipped away. So many opportunities for nature to conspire against my peace of mind, my very survival.

So many pointless, trivial activities I've chosen to distract myself with on a daily basis instead of just putting down the bong or the keyboard and getting my life together.

Soon my phone service will get disconnected and I'll be isolated from everything I know and love. I'll have to sit at the computer and figure out something to do which doesn't involve connectivity.

The rent was due yesterday and my landlord slipped a note under my door reminding me of that fact. This plus the electric bill, the water bill, the garbage bill. The toilet paper I don't have, the toothpaste I'm running out of, the towels I haven't taken to the laundry in nine months.

I think I'm dreaming - I think this ludicrous reality I've constructed for myself is little more than a hologram, and all that's required of any of us to secure true happiness and eternal comfort is to locate the big red OFF SWITCH.

But I can't! I can't rest until I've found that gosh darn godforsaken ATM card!!
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MY PAC MAN FEVER IS NOW OFFICIALLY FULL BLOWN PAC MAN AIDS
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