Eventually,
I got gum on my shoe and gave up the search.
Christ, why do people have to chew gum? They stuff ten big huge pink pieces in their mouths at once and then chomp away like a chipmunk, only to splut it out on the sidewalk five minutes later. Disgusting.
Now I'm going to have sticky brown spots all over my clothes. People at work are going to notice I never do laundry.
I'll have to visit the
bank
and actually talk to someone in order to get a temporary ATM card.
My mind begins to reel with advance annoyance of the interrogation sure to follow.
No, I don't know where it is - No, I don't know what happened to it, etc. etc. SHUT UP. The people at the bank hate my voice on the phone and my face in person.
The only reason I still do business here is because it's the bank mom signed me up with when I was eight years old.
There's too much work involved with getting switched over elsewhere, and doing so would only fuck up my direct deposit.
Every time,
they look at me like I'm about to rob the place. Can't they hire nice people? What are all my ATM fees paying for, anyway? They're like little PAPER CUTS. Why can't bank people just do their job?? Which is pretty much whatever I ask them to do??
It's all just so hard to deal with, isn't it?? And when I finally get up to the teller, she's going to ask for my driver's license,
WHICH I DON'T HAVE EITHER.
If anyone finds my old ATM card, please don't use it.
The number is:
4217 4932 8504 9420
Expiration: 3/04
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SuperCaliFragilIisticExpialiMedia
specializes in branding partnerships.
Maybe if you pulled your head out of your ass just one inch, it would help you identify the crucial components of life and allow for some follow-through with the appropriate action.
I'm going to call
my
mom right now.
ASDF;GL*(%(P GB OI#TG)@#$*@( *Y#$HGILSFBLGLAB
